What…? Wednesday, Sep 24 2008 

All lyrics: the crdit goes to Nicole Nordeman

I just love to sit and use songs to think about my life and what is going on. To sit there and honestly think about some of the things said in songs.
This song is What If by Nicole Nordeman

“What if you’re right?”
Then you are right, don’t brag about it. Be nice and if you make a really good on a test, don’t display it for the world to see in the hallways, it hurts some people. If your friend makes a bad grade, however, help her or him. It will make them feel a lot better to see that you actually care about how they do in school.

“What if you’re wrong?”
Admit that you were wrong, don’t try to play it off like it wasn’t you. Admit it and get help. If you can’t get a pitch in choir or just can not play that note in band, ask for some help. If you just don’t understand chemistry, find a friend who is. Same thing the other way around, if you are good at something or know someone struggling with something, try to help out.

“What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?”
Simple, always hope for the best in everything you do. And if you don’t do so well, or just flat out can’t do it, hope for a day you will get it right and just try a bit harder at it. You may just surprise yourself.

“What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?”
Another simple one, always look for a friend you can fall back to. If they are your friend they should always be trying to be there for you. If they don’t try to be there for you, they just, flat out, aren’t your friend and are using you.

“What if it’s love?”
Then scream it to the heavens. Just kidding, if you think it is love wait a bit to make sure. Sometimes it ends up just being lust or confusion by the media. Don’t let yourself think that it is love until you absolutely know its love.

“What if you dig? Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends.”
Then savor the fact that you have a broader imagination and thinking ability then them. But never truly assume you are are deeper than your friends because you never know what they are capable of. Now, if you are digging into trouble deeper than them, maybe you should try to be a bit more like your friends.

“What if you find, A thousand more unanswered questions down inside? That’s all you find.”
That is okay, everyone has unanswered questions. It’s called being a human being. Almost all of your unanswered questions will never be answered, live with it. Now if it’s all you find, start asking some questions because you may learn something about yourself that you didn’t know.

“What if you pick apart the logic and begin to poke the holes?”
Everyone picks apart the logic, its called being creative and learning. A logical thing to do would to cut perfectly straight lines so it looks perfect, why not pull it apart and do a crooked wavy line instead?

If anyone has song requests, just tell me and then give me a few days to listen to and learn the song. Please and thank you.

Mute? Wednesday, Sep 24 2008 

Am I just mute or something? Is there something going around making friends not follow things they tell others to do? Is everything just becoming a negative thing and if you have one concern about it then you just don’t do it? Someone please tell me because apparently I’m out of the loop.

But seriously, someone needs to inform me of when to talk over people (or not let them talk) and go against what you just told someone else to do. Another fall out with a friend leaves me in a state of anger, upset, or just plain hurt. If you tell someone to look at the positives in things, don’t turn around and only think of negatives in another thing. Such as where you placed in a contest (*cough* dead last *cough*) and talking about it and then being told that you should only look at the positives, only to have the very same person who told you that to turn around and gripe about why sitting where they are sucks because it’s too noisy, even though we are in a gym and it makes no difference where you sit. Stick to what you tell other people to do because they tend to actually believe you and do it!!

Say you are at lunch and talking with your friends equally, and then the bell rings for study period and you are all going to sit together. Honestly people, don’t leave one of the people out of a conversation. And talk about something everyone can talk about and have imputs in. It just makes people feel like they actually belong and aren’t just the third wheel. In the long run, your friendship will thank you.

Someone contact me soon about this disease or it might just spread to the rest of my friends.

Weird Sunday, Sep 14 2008 

Is it weird
For you to turn
And see a giant smile on my face
To see me laugh at your jokes
and then realize
And know
That somewhere deep down
Something is wrong

It seems as though my life is slowly deteriorating around me. My sister is getting more and more trouble and I feel numb everywhere I go now. The year deadline is coming up, one year left until Joe and I can technically date. It seems as though everyday I end up crying at some point, whether it be friend issues, family issues, or I’m just allover depressed. I don’t know how to fix any of this and I really wish I did. I want to smile like a mean it more often then I do now. With All Region auditions and my black belt testing just around the corner I never really have time to sit down with anyone and explain these feelings.

As a side note, I’m surviving Sophomore year…barely.